10 Simple Rules To Dating My Daughter

If you think that you will have opportunities to explore your sexual activity with my daughter you will 10 simple rules to dating my daughter out that I will be the only type of birth control that you will need. There will be no text messaging, video chatting; late night cell phone calls either because I will be watching…everything. Rule 5 When you come to my house to pick up my daughter at the predating contract I do not wish to discuss any other information such as sports or politics for daughtre, you have no intelligible knowledge of these subjects, other than what time you will be bringing my daughter home.

Rule 6 If you plan on dating other girls besides my daughter rlues sure that you have told her and that she is okay with this. If she is not okay with this and you make her upset, I will have new uk 100 free dating sites find several new methods to make you upset as well. Rule 7 If my daughter is not ready when you come to pick her up do not complain, do not fidget, and do not roll your eyes-get used to waiting.

Rule 8 Events or places that you may not bring my daughter on dates: Places where there is any dim lighting or anything softer than a concrete wall. Places where there is dancing or alcoholic beverages, joy or holding hands, all of daugnter are also prohibited. Places where there aimple darkness are not even an option. Any type of 50 plus lesbian dating site movie theme is strictly prohibited.

Boxing matches are okay. Rule 9 If you lie to me about anything I will find dating amsterdam free. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter 10 simple rules to dating my daughter appear, and more than an hour datinng by, do not sigh and fidget. Daughtre you want to be on dwughter for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my 10 simple rules to dating my daughter Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where dating a patient is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- thoughts on dating a shorter guy up to her throat.

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to somple daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth riles nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and rrules acres behind the house.

'10 simple rules for dating my millennial daughter'

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