She rejected him so they never even got together. She expressed interest in me and I went to my friend and told him that without a doubt I will not pursue anything with her if it bugs you. Asked him very specifically and repeatedly if it was ok. He acted like it was ok, but soon became distant and we do not talk any more.
It can really go either way depending on the factors. I agree with your advice for course of action though. Oh yeah - it depends on a lot of factors, I agree. It also depends on the friend and whether or not they are telling you the truth about their feelings. November 23, Anna Pulley RedEye's sex columnist I've been seeing one of my friend's exes. She was a very close friend years ago, but our relationship has dwindled.
They were broken up for two years before we got together, but my friend was totally in love with him when they were dating, he broke her heart, and it took her a very long time to get kelsey buzzfeed dating him, even when she has had other boyfriends, she was still hung up on him. I thought it was just going to be a fling, so I didn't think it would be worth it to create a situation and the inevitable how to tell your friend you are dating her ex it would cause.
So we kept it on the DL. Now it's been 6 months, and we've become more serious than initially anticipated. He told me the ball was totally in my court as to when to tell her about us, since they didn't maintain a friendship after the breakup. He messaged her back saying he was seeing someone, she claimed her messaging was all innocent, but now she keeps trying to get him to hang out with her and give her attention. Her persistence is definitely affecting our relationship. Do I tell her? How do I tell her?
Do I walk away? First of all, it's impractical. In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend. They dated casually for a few weeks before they split up and we got together, and three years later the same friend gave one of the readings at our wedding. Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done la free online dating sites sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.
It's common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well; however, your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush. I'm going to use female pronouns for your friend, and male pronouns for your sweetie, for the sake of simplicity; however, every rule here applies no matter the genders of the participants.
Keep your friend's secrets. The reverse is also true; no matter how much you love discussing your dude with your besties, his ex can probably live without hearing the details of his current sex life. Save it for your diary or for anyone who didn't date him. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below 2. It's OK to come to your partner for advice if you're arguing with your friend, or vice versa, but absolutely resist the urge to belittle or insult one of them to how to tell your friend you are dating her ex other.
This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you'll find a sympathetic ear. However, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with both of them, it's crucial that you never seem even a little like you're taking sides in their breakup or casting either one as the bad guy, even months or years after the fact. If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party. Respect boundaries without making assumptions. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.
But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!